Just Can't Say No

 

Indians do not like to express 'no,' be it verbally or non- verbally. Rather than disappoint you, for example, by saying something isn't available, Indians will offer you the response that they think you want to hear. However, this behaviour should not be considered dishonest. An Indian would be considered terribly rude if he did not attempt to give a person what had been asked. Since they do not like to give negative answers, Indians may give an affirmative answer but be deliberately vague about any specific details.  This will require you to look for non-verbal cues, such as a reluctance to commit to an actual time for a meeting or an enthusiastic response.

 

Meeting Etiquette

 

Religion, education and social class all influence greetings in India. This is a hierarchical culture, so greet the eldest or most senior person first. When leaving a group, each person must be bid farewell individually. Shaking hands is common, especially in the large cities among the more educated who are accustomed to dealing with westerners. Men may shake hands with other men and women may shake hands with other women; however there are seldom handshakes between men and women because of religious beliefs. If you are uncertain, wait for them to extend their hand.

 

Gift Giving Etiquette

 

Indians believe that giving gifts eases the transition into the next life. For example, gifts of cash are given to friends and members of the extended family to celebrate life events such as birth, death and marriage. It is not the value of the gift, but the sincerity with which it is given, that is important to the recipient.  If invited to an Indian's home for a meal, it is not necessary to bring a gift, although one will not be turned down. It’s best to avoid frangipani or white flowers as they are used at funerals. Yellow, green and red are lucky colours, so people use them to wrap gifts. A gift from a man should be said to come from both he and his wife/mother/sister or some other female relative. Hindus should not be given gifts made of leather while Muslims should not be given gifts made of pigskin or alcoholic products. Also, gifts are not opened when received.

 

Dining Etiquette

 

Indians entertain in their homes, restaurants, private clubs, or other public venues, depending upon the occasion and circumstances. Although Indians are not always punctual themselves, they expect foreigners to arrive close to the appointed time. Take off your shoes before entering the house. Dress modestly and conservatively. Politely turn down the first offer of tea, coffee, or snacks. You will be asked again and again. Saying no to the first invitation is part of the protocol. There are diverse dietary restrictions in India, and these may affect the foods that are served:

• Hindus do not eat beef and many are vegetarians.

• Muslims do not eat pork or drink alcohol.

• Sikhs do not eat beef

 

Lamb, chicken, and fish are the most commonly served main courses for non-vegetarian meals as they avoid the meat restrictions of the religious groups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Table Manners

 

Table manners are somewhat formal, but this formality is tempered by the religious beliefs of the various groups.

Much Indian food is eaten with the fingers.

Wait to be told where to sit.

If utensils are used, they are generally a tablespoon and a fork.

Guests are often served in a particular order: the guest of honour is served first, followed by the men, and the children are served last. Women typically serve the men and eat later.

You may be asked to wash your hands before and after sitting down to a meal.

Always use your right hand to eat, whether you are using utensils or your fingers.

In some situations food may be put on your plate for you, while in other situations you may be allowed to serve yourself from a communal bowl.

Leaving a small amount of food on your plate indicates that you are satisfied. Finishing all your food means that you are still hungry.